TGS

"What is TGS?" said Jason.

"Well, thanks for asking" replied Cash in a kind yet firm manner. "TGS is Terrible Gent Syndrome".

"Tell me about the symtoms, it sounds serious" explained Jason while peeling an orange.

"Put that orange down Jason and listen...for your edification I have created 10 simple characteristics of the terrible gent which in turn infects the respective betty with TGS....in no particular order these are....

1) No sense of humour whatsoever;
2) Small lips that are almost non-existant;
3) Religious fundamentalism;
4) Cheating history is a must;
5) Emotional issues stemming from early childhood and ancillary baggage thereof;
6) Membership to a different culture and/or language sect;
7) Bad teeth;
8) Transport is in the form of a pick up truck or bakkie equivalent;
9) Shirts with plunging necklines; and
10) Little to no money.

"You're welcome, your account is in the post"

Regards
Cash

sea food risotto

Since you love it so much Cash, here is my recipe for seafood risotto

Ingredients:

Squid ink
Fish Sauce
Garlic
More garlic
Garlic shallots
Chilli
Frozen mussels, calamari, crab stick(note that it MUST BE FROZEN AND FRESH SEAFOOD SHOULD NEVER BE USED!)
Uncooked Woolworths Calarmari
Arborio Rice
Toilet Water

Method:

Bring 700ml of toilet water to the boil. When bubbling, add the arborio rice and cook until burnt.

Once the rice is black, add squid ink and stir. The mixture should now appear as black as a bat, squelchy and completely inedible.

Now add the garlic, garlic and garlic shallots. This is to mask the scent of death.

Add the seafood which should still be frozen and rock hard to avoid losing the flavour of the freezer.

Once the black mixture has completely coated the frozen seafood, serve immediately and dust with a sprinkling of chilli and the dashest of dashes of fish sauce.

Vomit up the mixture and serve it to guests on a plate of rose petals

DELISH

Taryn loves i scream and the chocolate stix:)

Check out their beauteous music video

http://vimeo.com/12530142

"I kissed a girl and I liked it! NOT!"

Terrence, you are never going to document all your adventures so start with your most recent...do share...

10 Things to do in the next 10 years

1. Live on Greek islands for three months
2. Go on a skiing/snowboarding holiday
3. Go skydiving
4. Swim/float in the Dead Sea
5. Win the lottery or make lots of cash
6. Get married
7. Have kid#1
8. Accomplish and maintain not having to work 9-5
9. Learn a foreign language
10.Learn to speak Xhosa/Zulu fluently

Cash, terrence...ideals? Mine are a bit conservative but baby steps...

Chubby Bat

"Some people say its big bones...yeah, big bones covered in meat and gravy."

"Its glandular. It's not... its greed."

Today we discuss an issue that's been plaguing policeman all over America and South African government officials for thousands of years. Enter - the only living organism that carries excess lipids almost naturally.

Why is that so many folks are overweight.

Ever seen a fat cheetah? No, because it would die. There are no other mammals that consistently get fat without human intervention. The reason is because for those animals, being fit means living.

Capitalism has made it possible for a man to overcome natural selection by being financially successful. The effort required to achieve fiscal glory is most often at the expense of one's physical appearance. Fortunately, appearance is not the primary social currency accepted worldwide. Great.

So -

you have less time

to do something that isn't really necessary;

you don't bother.

Besides the fact that we don't have to hunt for our food, most of the foods we eat are beyond unnatural. I've literally seen blue and green tomato sauce. What is candy floss?

Is it that shocking that some members of our species resemble other types of mammals? If your metabolism is weak consider your laziness. If you can eat crap, lucky you. If not, here comes

Cash Truth #3: if you get-chubby, move around vigorously until you're not-chubby and then try to stay not-chubby even though it is inevitable that you will once again get-chubby but always remember that it is better to be not-chubby

More the Merrier

Today I want to share another piece of the pie, according to Cash.

Whenever someone hosts a function and says that anyone is welcome, "the more the merrier", I ask myself, "Is that really the case". Not at all.

There is always one sod who doesn't quite gel with the group, a person who isn't familiar with the dynamic. In crowds exceeding 8 people, "the more the merrier" will inevitably prove to be a load of nonsense. That "bad seed" will annoy. How much? Well, best case that person is quiet and alienated. Worst case, "the elephant in the room" is a colossal beast with a loud mouth spewing inappropriate and misguided filth.

Let it be known, travelling exacerbates the qualities of the "bad seed.

Cash Truth #2 - "the more the merrier" is rubbish, all the time, until the end of time.

Regards,

Cash

PS

There once was a man named Cash,

who had loads of green in his stash.

He bought himself land,

with some change in his hand,

oh the betties, how did they dash!