"What is TGS?" said Jason.
"Well, thanks for asking" replied Cash in a kind yet firm manner. "TGS is Terrible Gent Syndrome".
"Tell me about the symtoms, it sounds serious" explained Jason while peeling an orange.
"Put that orange down Jason and listen...for your edification I have created 10 simple characteristics of the terrible gent which in turn infects the respective betty with TGS....in no particular order these are....
1) No sense of humour whatsoever;
2) Small lips that are almost non-existant;
3) Religious fundamentalism;
4) Cheating history is a must;
5) Emotional issues stemming from early childhood and ancillary baggage thereof;
6) Membership to a different culture and/or language sect;
7) Bad teeth;
8) Transport is in the form of a pick up truck or bakkie equivalent;
9) Shirts with plunging necklines; and
10) Little to no money.
"You're welcome, your account is in the post"
Regards
Cash
Monday 19 July 2010
sea food risotto
Since you love it so much Cash, here is my recipe for seafood risotto
Ingredients:
Squid ink
Fish Sauce
Garlic
More garlic
Garlic shallots
Chilli
Frozen mussels, calamari, crab stick(note that it MUST BE FROZEN AND FRESH SEAFOOD SHOULD NEVER BE USED!)
Uncooked Woolworths Calarmari
Arborio Rice
Toilet Water
Method:
Bring 700ml of toilet water to the boil. When bubbling, add the arborio rice and cook until burnt.
Once the rice is black, add squid ink and stir. The mixture should now appear as black as a bat, squelchy and completely inedible.
Now add the garlic, garlic and garlic shallots. This is to mask the scent of death.
Add the seafood which should still be frozen and rock hard to avoid losing the flavour of the freezer.
Once the black mixture has completely coated the frozen seafood, serve immediately and dust with a sprinkling of chilli and the dashest of dashes of fish sauce.
Vomit up the mixture and serve it to guests on a plate of rose petals
DELISH
Ingredients:
Squid ink
Fish Sauce
Garlic
More garlic
Garlic shallots
Chilli
Frozen mussels, calamari, crab stick(note that it MUST BE FROZEN AND FRESH SEAFOOD SHOULD NEVER BE USED!)
Uncooked Woolworths Calarmari
Arborio Rice
Toilet Water
Method:
Bring 700ml of toilet water to the boil. When bubbling, add the arborio rice and cook until burnt.
Once the rice is black, add squid ink and stir. The mixture should now appear as black as a bat, squelchy and completely inedible.
Now add the garlic, garlic and garlic shallots. This is to mask the scent of death.
Add the seafood which should still be frozen and rock hard to avoid losing the flavour of the freezer.
Once the black mixture has completely coated the frozen seafood, serve immediately and dust with a sprinkling of chilli and the dashest of dashes of fish sauce.
Vomit up the mixture and serve it to guests on a plate of rose petals
DELISH
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)